I do remember the angst I experienced not only because of being a teen, but a teen with – what I thought of at the time – a horrible huge secret.
I was also a white northern female whose family moved to the South. I hadn’t been raised to see skin color, or to think lesser of any who appeared better, or worse, off than I. In other words, I had a big ole’ target on my back. So we could add in bullying and shunning to the teen experience.
And my secret…which really wasn’t a secret, though I tried...was about my abilities. That’s where the name calling and more shunning came in. I was the “odd” one, or “freak”, etc. I’m sure you get the gist.
I’m not complaining – I’m explaining. As teens through to young adulthood, or longer, we are pressured to conform, to “fit in”, to succeed, to follow the masses. Me? Growing up, I just wanted to be a wallflower; blending in with the backgrounds and hoping no one noticed me. I think I got pretty good at it eventually.
Anyway, my point being, we were pressured; pushed to not be ourselves. This brought fear about what the others would think of us; we were judged. Many strove to be liked, or like me, just left alone.
And many people brought those fears and insecurities forward well into their adult life; worried about being judged and perhaps judging others not “like” you.
I got over it, but I wish someone had pulled me aside and gave my younger self the message that I bring to the table...Read More
by Jan Toomer
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